The first but definitely not the last

I'm not sure where this blog will lead but I hope it is a great adventure for myself and anyone who happens upon it. I have an image in my mind of what I would like this blog to be but I'm not sure exactly how to get there. It is a work in progress, as is life.

I first considered starting a blog years ago but always put it off because I figured I would never write as beautifully as some of the women whose blogs I had been reading. I'm sure some of those women have innate talents for writing and some of them have worked really hard to get express their feelings. Either way, they have all spent a lot of time making their blogs what they are. For each of them I'm sure that their content and writing styles have evolved over time as will mine. As for not being a great writer, well, I hope to overcome that.

The title of my blog is not the end of what I will post about but it popped into my head the other day while I was cleaning my kitchen. Most people enjoy a clean living space (I'm sure there are a few people who don't care either way), but I actually enjoy cleaning my living space. Don't get me wrong, I'm not an anal retentive clean freak. Sure, I like things to be a certain way and I like the pans to be stacked in the cupboard just so, but I'm certainly not obsessive about it. I do, however, find it extraordinarily relaxing to clean (or cook) something.

At first I didn't realize it but a few weeks ago after an exceptionally hectic day at work I drove home and all I wanted to do was cook something. Not eat it (I enjoy that too) but cook something. As soon as I started, I felt much more relaxed and the even weirder thing is that I enjoyed cleaning up afterward. I got into this zone where I was cleaning up and washing dishes and didn't have a care in the world.

This past Monday the same thing happened at work. I was frustrated with a project I was working on when the dirty sink area caught my eye. I couldn't stop myself, not only was I washing glassware that didn't belong to me(I'm a chemist and the lab I work at is currently without a dishwasher) I was throwing away old brushes and cleaning out from under the sink (which looked like WWIII, btw). I wasn't irritated doing it, but actually enjoying it. It calmed me and when I finished, I was able to focus on my project again.

Who knows, perhaps taking a walk would have had the same effect. Maybe it's the diversion that I need in order to find calm and I'm not so weird afterall. But these events prompted me to start this blog. To put these thoughts out there. To overcome my fear of being a horrible writer.

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